Vasa-here with us over 5 months!

Hard to believe how many changes that Vasa has made in such a short amount of time.  I've put off the update mainly because of lack of time (4 kids and it is getting near christmas) and I don't feel like an great writer, so I'm afraid that things will come out the wrong way.  But, I'll try my best.  First of all, I can't say enough how proud I have been of my other children.  They are so incredibly sweet to Vasa and more patient with him than I am the majority of the time.  They include him, mother him, teach him, love on him, etc.. --it has just been a testimony to watch.  Vasa is incredibly loving and sweet to them, too-not to mention how cute he is--makes it a little easier.

Each day, Vasa's English is improving.   It is so funny to see what things will come out of his mouth.  He is so outgoing, too, so it has been a change for me--my girls are much more reserved in public places.  He continues to speak to someone until he gets their attention.  "Hey man!  Whatcha doin?  How are you?"  It is usually fine until he says hey man to a woman.  I keep trying to tell him, you can be friendly, but just say hey-not hey man, hey woman.   At first, I was afraid this was a bad attachment sign.  But, he is just outgoing and friendly I think.  He never stops talking and needs updates on everyone's status at all times.  He just asked me, "What's Granny doing?"  We haven't seen her since before Thanksgiving, so I'm glad my 3 year old is reminding me we need to pay her a visit.

I'm having to get used to boys.  I think a lot of the things he does, people say--that's a boy.  An example--he still likes to play dog.  Yet, now it doesn't bother me--it's not an activity for attention or coping, it is just something he does when he is bored.  He was quiet, so I walked in the dining room to see what "my son the dog" was doing.  He had a chewed up straw in his mouth.  One of my dogs had found it and chewed it up.  He had it in his mouth.  I said, "Vasa!  We keep telling you we don't put things in our mouth!" He says, "Vasa a dog!  Sparkle (our dog) do dat!"  Like-lady, you know this!  But, I have to give the speech about germs and choking.

It has been very sweet to hear him say now in the past month, mama loves me, daddy loves me, etc.. and anyone else that comes to mind.  He now willingly gives kisses and asks to sit in my lap--the lap thing doesn't last long, b/c he doesn't like to sit still, but it is still sweet.  I was happy to see him turn away hugs and being picked up when meeting some new friends and family members--thought that was a good sign.

He tested positive for tuberculosis-latent not active (lungs are clear and not contagious), but he is now on a medication he will take for 9 months.  It is a liquid and he hates taking it.  I don't think it tastes that bad, but he has to drink a good bit of it and he gets sick on the toilet about 2 hours later.  Last night, we have tried giving it to him at bedtime and we are hoping it helps.  We tried to switch him to the pill--heard it was a little easier with less side effects, but he doesn't weigh enough for the mg tablet--he has to gain 2 pounds to take half.  As far as the upset tummy, food helps a little and the doctor basically said--sorry about that!  I've been trying my best to fatten him up, but it's hard when he is sick to his stomach and is probably not absorbing the calories.  Keeping my fingers crossed that the night thing will work.  At his check up, though, we were pleased that he is now in the 8th percentile for height and the 10th for weight.  He is still a pretty good eater.  Loves, loves fruit--hard to put on two pounds, though, with fruit.

He is going to speech once a week--not sure the 30 minutes is helping greatly, but it gives me at least an idea of what he doesn't know.  We are trying to use more pronouns and positional words now and colors.  I'm having a harder time at speech than he is, b/c it drives me crazy to hear her ask him a question that I know he knows the answer, but he answers quickly without listening or thinking.   Like-"Do you eat a policeman--while pointing to him--Vasa answers, yes!" I think he might start school after Christmas, but my first choice in schools doesn't have an opening.  Little bummed--he just is getting a little bored if I am not pulling activities out for him all the time, etc..   I am so glad he is soaking it all up and wants to play with mommy all day, but it is hard to fold laundry and cook a meal with Vasa begging for mommy to play.  Trying to not let all of those household chores overwhelm me, but it is hard.  I have tried to be disciplined and even have some sit down time for school--it has been good practice and he loves any activity -for the most part-that we do.  Today he sat down and wrote some letters on his own--one was actually an A and one was an S-couldn't believe it.

Still working on what I think is an adoption thing--sit down if you get tired, read a book, etc.. He gets wild and crazy eyed and we either take a nap or have a quiet break in the dark with me holding him--think he has stimulation overload at that point.  In the beginning, though, I thought it was happening all of the time. Now it is getting better.  Always trying to guess--what is an adoption thing, a boy thing, a three year old thing, or personality thing.  He likes to be in charge and call all of the shots.  I probably don't let him call as many shots as I should--but trying desperately to make sure he knows who is in charge.  His latest when he doesn't want to do something is "Mommy-don't!!"  I even heard a ne kasool (russian for I didn't say) yesterday--I hadn't heard that one in a while.  I really haven't heard any Russian in a while.  Kind of sad, because I wished that we had known an affective way to help him adapt, bond, and keep his Russian somehow.  Hopefully, he can maybe pick it back up in the future.   So pleased that he is communicating so well, though.

He now tells us when he has to potty-hooray--and even goes most of the time at the house on his own.  He loves to sing (and talk).  His favorite song is still twinkle twinkle little star, but he sings many others now.  It was very sweet after church Sunday to hear him spontaneously sing Happy Birthday to Jesus. I had not taught him that-his sunday school teacher had.   Very sweet--he also tells me often, "Jesus loves me."  Makes me teary.  Jesus loved him enough to unite us as a family--we are so blessed.

quick post update

My battery is going to die soon on the computer, but I had a few minutes to myself and wanted to make a quick post.  Vasa is doing great!  I can't believe how much he is talking.  Each day, he surprises me with a new phrase.  Yesterday, for example, my mom walked off at stein mart and he said, "Gigi, come back!"  Other times, I shake my head with a little frustration--he is not the best listener.  I still struggle with him not paying attention--thinking he would learn so much more if he would tune in a little.  Yesterday, somebody asked him if he had any dogs and he said no--then when asked what their names were, he said Joshua Vasa.  Uggh!  Listen, I wanted to shake him--you know this.  Yes, you have 2 dogs that you love, and yes, you know their names--you talk about them constantly.

He is still home with me--trying to practice things he needs to know for school--tell me when you need to go potty, ask me when you want to go outside, when we are doing something-don't just walk off when you get disinterested.  He is going to my gym once a week and the library, so I feel like that is helping him practice listening, sitting still, and following instructions.  Also a blessing--I was a little discouraged when we went to have him evaluated for speech--actually pleased with how he did, but kicking myself for feeling like I had him tested too early.  I felt like it wasn't a fair evaluation b/c of the 2nd language thing--comparing him to someone whose 1st language is english.  Also, a little discouraged when they told me that insurance would not cover it and it would be 90 dollars a week.  Wasn't sure he really needed it, so I said no, we'll wait.  I kept second guessing myself--maybe I'm not doing enough--but got a call back a few weeks later that our insurance would cover most of it.  Great!!  We went for our first appointment this week.  I was pleased that he did well, but continued to feel like I went into the wrong profession--30 minute session where they played with toys and got him to talk about them--90 bucks a pop--I should have done that--any child could probably be tolerated for 30 minutes :).

He continues to have new experiences each day--love seeing the joy on his face.  Today, he got to ride on a toy train at my gym--he thought it was the best!!  Can't wait to see his face at halloween when people just give him candy for opening his bag.  He's going to love that.  One last thing.  Went to hobby lobby--showed him santa and the christmas trees.  Not sure if he knows who santa is and why he is a big deal.  His response was, "oh barney?"  ooh is where for him--sweet thing--maybe we can say barney brought his toys this year.  Still doesn't watch more that 5 minutes of a show before he is finished--mean mommy makes him sit there, though for one show on occasion.

Favorite word--ah uh--went from ni kasul to no to ah uh.  Trying to get him to understand you don't say no to mommy and daddy.  He likes to be in charge.  

Preschool Drop-Out

Wow-this Wednesday will mark our 3 month anniversary since we have picked up Vasa.  It has gone by so fast.  He is also making huge accomplishments each day.  He is so precious and just has a love for life.  Everything always seems so exciting to him--new things are literally jump up and down exciting.  It is refreshing to see--there are so many things in life that I wish I could show uninhibitedly how excited I was like he does.  His English each day is making improvements.  We are hearing 3 word phrases sometimes--Vasa do it, juice is yummy...  I'm going to be a little annoying by listing all of his words just to allow myself to see all of the words he know so far and to have a record of them.  We think he knows around a hundred-- good morning, night night, all sisters names, mama, daddy, papa, Oscar, Sparkle, puppy, 4 grandparents names, Jill, Buddy, Jack, no, yes, eat, milk, juice, water, cup, hot, school, work, coffee, yucky, oh no, peek a boo, uh oh, beach, pool, washing machine, spin spin, dump truck, bus, car, open, big, tv, ouch, boo boo, flush, several potty words and anatomically correct phrases, hands, wash, tummy, teeth, hair, bear, apple, banana, cracker, cookie, door, walk, up, be nice, calm down, bicycle, man, woman, girl, boy, baby, doctor, guitar, monkey, march, e i e i o, round and round, outside, I love u, sure others but pretty good list.  We saw a speech pathologist and should be starting soon.  Pretty good start, though.

On to preschool--I was planning on starting him after christmas, but decided after talking to the preschool director that maybe starting now wouldn't hurt.  It's just 3 days a week and they are all learning routines and such now.  Well, Josh and I really didn't think he was ready, but thought we'd try.  I stayed the majority of the day.  It was kind of a tough first day, because he struggles a little with new environments and feeling the need to explore each nook and cranny in each.  We had a new classroom, new playground, new chapel, new music room, new classroom bathroom.  He did ok--he didn't want to sit still at appropriate times, but for the most part, he was ok.   He was having to learn to sit, learn to walk in a line, learn to sit at the table, learn to line up at proper times, etc... but he was doing ok.  Had a blip when he used the bathroom across the hall and instead of coming back to his room, he went to the next room and started eating their food.  Kind of funny but hate he is still looking for his next meal--hoping that will end soon.   I left for about 30 minutes to get something to eat and to see how he would do without me there.  During the 30 minutes, he ran out of the classroom and down the hall (one rule we hadn't covered--you have to stay in the classroom :)), he dumped out a bucket of blocks and kicked them all around the room while laughing--what fun, and decided he was finished with his shoes--oh knows the word finished--and took them off.  I think it all flustered the teacher-totally understand-and they recommended moving him to the 2 year old class.  I felt like that wasn't the right move for him.  I want him to learn to speak well, how to properly behave, and continue using the potty, so I was afraid that it wasn't worth his time and the precious teacher's energy right now.  Also, I was afraid he was being too stimulated at school.  There are so many little things at the house we are still trying to tackle.  Look at someone when they are speaking to you.  Sometimes you have to sit still.  Even though something looks like food or smells like food, it may not be food.  People need personal space--they are strangers--they may not want you to touch them.  You have to ask before you use something that is not yours.  Funny example this morning.  He loves all of his sisters' lip balms.  They leave them laying around and I remind him each time he is using them--please ask first before you use it--it is not yours.  Today he grabbed what he thought was lip balm and applied it to his lips--a bunch--it was a glue stick that was left out.  I feel like some of it are attachment issues anyway that are surely best handled at home.  We started a class at my gym which he loves, so I'm hoping that will be a fun outing with kids his own age.    Maybe after Christmas we'll rethink pre-k.  

Stroller pushing/dump truck watching

Right now I am watching vasa push the stroller around the front yard. He now is saying watch mama. Trying to watch him but also give a blog update. Each day, his English is getting just a little better. He told a man today that his name was Joshua vasa--first time he has said it without being prompted--I was very proud! We have spent most of the last few days watching the dump trucks down the street. They are working on two lots, so each day many many dump trucks come through. He loves trucks of any kind and calls them all dump trucks.

We have allowed vasa to be around one of our dogs, sparkle, the last few days unless he gets the "crazy teeth" as josh and I call them. He gets this look on his face that tells you he has lost all self control and the dog goes up once again.

He still takes such delight in seeing cars. A lady pulled up beside our stroller to talk a second and vasa unbuckled out of his stroller and tried to climb in her car. Still so exciting to see the inside of a car!!

He has such a joy for life and is so pleasant the majority of the time. Baby gates are still a part of our everyday lives, though.  He still gets into the shampoo across the house, daddy's guitar, ipods, etc...  Nothing really bad--I just have a hard time keeping an eye on him when he is across the house and I'm trying to do laundry or whatever.

Day 2 of my attempt to finish the blog--today I went to olive garden with my mother and grandmother.  Get there and wow--we are by the emergency exit and they won't let us have a high chair.  Vasa sits beside me in the booth, but I was missing the high chair.  He had already had a "busy" (into everything kind of morning) morning so I was afraid what the lunch may be like.  He was, for the most part, good.  He didn't want to eat anything, though, so he was too interested in trying to look out the window, touch the man in the booth behind us, pretend he needed to go poop twice, and dropping everything he could under the table, taking his shoes off, and shouting at nana under the table.  After a few time outs in the bathroom, I was thankful it was time to go.  Josh and I call those "a working man's lunch".  Of course, when we have boxed the food up and walking out, Vasa decides he wants to eat.  Sorry, bud.  Maybe after your nap I'm looking forward to :).  We walked out (circling ever so carefully by the full tray that I feared vasa would pull down).

Vasa does finally seem, though, to be our child.  For the first week or so, I still felt like we were babysitting someone else's child.  I'm glad to finally have that "feeling".  I've had to swallow my pride a little bit, though here lately.  I have always taken a lot of pride in my child's behavior in public/school/that kind of thing.  When Vasa is cutting up in public, I'm having a hard time not explaining to others, "He's acting like this because I've only had him a few months."  How terrible is that?  I haven't really said it in those words, but I think it.  Ha ha.   Need to get over the caring what others at Publix or Olive Garden think. :)  God has a lot to teach me through Vasa.  I only hope God will use us to teach him.  Thank you for all of the "that is just what boys do" comments that others have given me.  I really do appreciate it--honestly.  I was the one that would argue that girls can be a lot like boys--come to my house--yet that was before I had a boy.  Now I think I'm understanding.  

Wow!! End of July already?

Josh and I have had a great summer with the girls and Vasa--our head is still spinning, though.  My brain fails to function at full capacity each day--we feel like we have a newborn even though he is three--just by the way our body feels.  We are sleeping ok, but each day is full of physical and mental use--running after Vasa (where is he, now?), shuttling the girls here and there to camps and things with their friends, playing referee among the girls (she scared me on purpose--Addison), keeping baby gates up for Vasa.

Vasa continues to be such a delight.  He has a killer smile.  The girls have fun with him and think he is very funny.  He seems to take such joy in the everyday things still that we take for granted.  It's funny to still see him enjoy turning on and off lights, turning on the fan in every room, opening each drawer and cabinet, turning on and off the tv, brushing and brushing his teeth, loading the washing machine, ....  goes on and on.  We are trying to not let some of them annoy us at times.  One of his favorites is slamming each door as he enters each room.  Our hallways seem to echo the load slam.

Vasa is using the potty well--I'm thrilled.  He even goes by himself at times and we're working on standing and peeing--my walls have never been scrubbed more.  We are visiting all of the bathrooms in each establishment in town, so let me know if you need to know where the bathroom is if we are out together.  He loves to go when he is bored just to flush and throw away paper towels.

His dinner habits are getting better.  He is trying to stick to eating off of his plate and we are trusting him with a plate in front of him.  Two weeks ago he was still shoveling all of his food in his mouth at one time if you put it in front of him.  We trying hard to keep him from feeding the dogs at the dinner table.  Funny today--poor Oscar, our old dachshund, thought he was getting food from Vasa when Vasa shook a post it note at him--oscar quickly jumped and ran off like he had a piece of cheese or something.  Losing his sight and his patience--I feel like the worst mom b/c we are still having problems with Vasa and the dogs.  We have gone over thousands of times with him not to even touch Oscar and to gently with one hand pet Sparkle.  I try to still watch him  like a hawk around Oscar, but we thought he had learned a lesson about touching him.  Several weeks ago, Vasa got bit by Oscar--not bad, but he tried to pick him up or something when I went to put clothes away.  Today, I was helping the girls get school supplies organized and I hear Vasa mess with Oscar's crate.  I get up and the dog shrieks and Vasa shrieks.  Bitten again.  I have learned my lesson, I guess.  I got a lock for Oscar's crate when Oscar wants alone time and now I have kept the dogs outside or on the other side of the baby gate.  Vasa knows the rule--we have demonstrated and acted out and explained a gazillion times.  Feel like I spend most of the day doing this.  Yet, he can't seem to control his impulses yet around them.  Even tonight, I hadn't let him get near our other dog (sweet patient one) all day and she walked up tonight--Vasa with a big grin was so happy to see her and instead of petting her sweetly -one hand gently--I think I say it in my sleep--quickly pulled the hair on the top of her head.  I could have beat my head against the wall.  Please pray for us on that.

We are headed to the beach for a long weekend tomorrow.  We are hoping that Vasa does ok with the new environment.  We are looking forward to spending time with the girls and seeing Vasa's reaction to the beach.  Also looking forward to not having to say, "No kicking the dog, pet the dog gently like this, don't lick the dog, don't chase the dog, no barking at the dog, no pulling the dog's hair--it hurts."  We will stay far away from dogs this weekend.  Vasa will be the only "puppy" there.  He still likes to crawl around like a dog and bark at times, but I am so thankful I seem to be getting more regular kisses than doggie kisses now.

Feeling bittersweet about the girls going back to school-August 8-can't believe it.  The house will be a little quieter (less stimulation for Vasa--good thing) but I miss them when they are gone.  One of my babies starts kindergarten this year, too.  I think I am thoroughly confusing Vasa--I call them the pet name baby sometimes, so he keeps saying, vasa baby?  ava baby?  and I say, no, you are a little boy and ava is a girl, but you will always be my baby no matter what.  Hard to see babies start a new school year and be another year older.  Hard to start all of that homework again--I feel like it is my work, too!!  So far, I've made good grades, though!

Wow! A month already!

The time has gone by so quickly! The 15th was a month that vasa has been a part of our family. We feel a little like we have a newborn because of our lack of sleep. It's not all vasa-Allie has been a terrible sleeper since we got home. I'm now in her room begging her with my expression to close her eyes and go to sleep. She is in and out of our bed 2-3 times a night. She claims her bed is uncomfortable. We think she has "Jimmy legs"--isn't that what you used to call it? She is a kicking and a moving all night long. Vasa gets up usually around 3-walks into our room and sing songs mama, papa, then runs back to his bed. We'll get him back to sleep-sometimes we have to stay in his bed-then he hops out of his bed at 6 am-ready for the day but obviously still tired. I keep reminding myself that it can't last forever. Josh and I are both two people that need sleep.

We are hoping that vasa learns some self control at some point around the dogs. He has moved on from trying to hug them too tightly to kicking them when he passes by them and licking them on their tongues. Poor thing has been in time-in (kind of a time out) for kicking the dogs several times today. He seems to understand and I act it out each time, but he can't seem to resist the urge.

Vasa loves going outside. He can't seem to get enough of the barbie jeep and his ride on toys. He loves just the freedom of the outdoors. Even when he is dripping in sweat, there are many wails and temper tantrums when it's time to go inside.

The girls have been extremely sweet and patient--seem to be more patient at times than I am. At times I do feel like I'm going to lose my cool when he licks me for the tenth time that day (puppy kiss)Which I cannot stand and when he reaches in the toilet for example after he's peed in it. But, josh continues to remind me--we've only had him over 30 days or so-it takes time!!

He is making a lot of progress--seems like baby steps, but I know we need to celebrate th. The temper tantrums seem to be getting shorter. He is learning lots of words-maybe saying 20 or so consistently. He is feeding himself and not shoveling in like the nathan's hot dog contest. He is very affectionate with the girls and josh and me. He rarely has potty accidents anymore. He made it through the whole church service without us having to take him out. It's been a lot of fun to finally hear him talk and really understand him better.

A huge help has been all of the meals we've received. It's been so nice to not have to worry about cooking. We continue to love seeing the joy and excitement of life--experiencing some of his firsts--pool time, dairy queen, playing in the rain-so special. Helps a little with the sadness for him and us with missing some of his childhood.

Vasa