kaluga park
Monday, February 6, 2012
Vasa turns 4!
Wow! He is now 4! I felt this ultimate pressure, at first, that he needed to have it all figured out because he is now the old age of 4. But, I'm trying to relax and be "cool" with the fact that it is o.k. that he still acts like a preschooler and not a responsible child :). He had a good time at his party. For months, he has asked when it would be his birthday--he has seen his sister and his cousin have their parties. So it was sweet to see him have the chance to blow his candles out and open his presents. What is too funny now is he insists that many, many things around here he got for his birthday. We'll watch a Barney video--vasa will say, "I got that for my birthday." No, not that--we've had that. He will put on clothes--Vasa will say, "I got this for my birthday." No, not that--you had that. Too funny. His favorite items from his birthday-his police car power wheels and his cowboy boots. He is also pretty darn cute in his police uniform. He makes you call him policeman and says he is protecting you. He was wearing his outfit in a store the other day and someone asked him his name. He said--policeman.
Things to celebrate--my sister in law and brother in law adopted a baby boy (gabe) from the states--he is beautiful and they made it home in time for the party!! He is such a lucky boy-he has some of the best people as parents (funny, love the lord, etc...)--his parents adore him and I'm in love as well. My family is just as lucky to have all of them, too.
I have been a little panicked the last month or so because Vasa had lost a pound. Josh and I went on a wild frenzy where most things revolved around how many calories (healthy ones) we could get him to consume. I am pleased to say that he gained 3 pounds at his last doctor's appointment. They were able to finally put him on a pill for his latent tb since his weight was up--it was much easier to crush and put in a spoonful of pudding than getting him to choke down the 3 teaspoons of syrup that he didn't like. We think we have only 5 more months on the medication Yahoo!!
Vasa had preschool, part 2 again last week. Started off the week by continuing to walk out of the classroom or into the bathroom whenever he pleased. After a few days, I am proud to say that today the only problem they had is that he didn't want to line up after playground time. One threat of calling his mother and he lined up!! I am still grinning ear to ear. He is just going a few mornings a week, so it gives him some time to make friends and learn some things, yet we still get our time together. Loving the fact that he wants me to hold him often, gives me kisses, asked me to hold his hand, etc.. Think those are good signs of attachment.
Wednesday, Vasa will have surgery on his eye. He has an eye that turns out-strabismus-doesn't happen all of the time but enough that they said it needs to be fixed surgically. He also has something called double elevator palsy--love the name. It basically means one of his eyes won't look up. Feel like the bad mom that the doctor had to point it out to me before I noticed. Sigh. This they won't fix, though. They said it shouldn't affect his vision and will be less noticeable the taller he gets. Hoping all goes as planned and praying that he won't need another surgery any time soon. Feeling so sorry for him that he will be poked and prodded again. But, it will be nice to have both eyes looking at me and not having to think about which eye I should be focused on. I'm thankful it will be fixed before he begins to get teased for it or his vision becomes affected.
We are struggling with a few things, but are common things, I think, for some preschoolers. I have two children who can get "the look" from us and they straighten up right away. I now have two children (including Vasa) that don't get or don't care about the look. They are a little more difficult at times to parent and require you to be on your game--that parenting game. I have to say, though, that I am so thankful to have been actively parenting a child like this before Vasa came. This type of child can be so funny and keep things interesting at all times, but you have to be creative and on top of things--sometimes even foreseeing challenges before they happen. Example--a full bottle of shampoo for these children may scream, wow! I could make a bunch of bubbles if I dumped this entire bottle in the water! It doesn't automatically click to use just a little because mom will hit the roof if the whole bottle is empty when she enters the bathroom. They see the fun involved the the bubbles as trumping the getting in trouble part, I think. Being a rule follower myself (on most rules that I deem important), it makes no sense to me that this wouldn't occur to everyone. Yet, it doesn't. My absolute favorite book that I need to read again is a book called, I believe, You Can't Make Me! It is a wonderful book that gives such practical, useful information--useable information when you are feeling like your children are outsmarting you. It makes you feel like the parent again and less like "herding cats." Vasa still has the I don't want tos--he is still learning the drill where even if you don't want to, you have to b/c mommy and daddy said. It is sweet, though, to hear him say, Mommy helps me. Daddy keeps me safe, Mommy and Daddy take care of me... M and D love me. Kind of reassurance for him that these are good things and, yes, that it is ok to love and trust us.
Other thing that I still see is a struggle is that the boy still has something I had read about common with adoptive kids. He has a gas petal but doesn't seem to have a brake petal when he gets tired. He gets "the crazies" when he is tired, having little self control. You have to remove him or pick him up/keep him still and almost let him regroup. Each month, it seems less frequent. Funny thing--he hates naptime and often refuses to get still. Mean mommy makes him get still before he is allowed to get out of the bed--just 5 minutes and you can get up. Enough time to rest and regroup--even just for a few short minutes. The funny part is within seconds of getting still he falls asleep. Probably another reason that he refuses to get still. He knows he will fall asleep and as he says, "I don't want to" don't is pronounced dow-n and won't-woan't. Sweet thing. His English is sounding so southern that it is probably a bad reflection on us.
Have to brag on my husband a bit before I wrap it up. I have the world's greatest husband. I went to San Diego with my mom and sister over the weekend and he held the fort down wonderfully. First off, he told me to spend money on myself--not many husbands that say that. He helped pack my suitcase, slipping in some notes that I found while unpacking--such sweet notes like I miss you already and such. He said the weekend went well--no calls from him with a stressful tone. He didn't feel the need to clean up my "mess" while I was gone--he didn't even put up the folded clothes on my dining room table--such a feat for him, b/c he doesn't like clutters and messes--cute thing walks in some days and starts putting stuff away--forgetting to say hello (well, maybe not quite that bad). He allowed himself to enjoy the kids and just take care of them. When I got home, all of the kids handed me flowers at the airport. Came home and he had baked a cake and made home made ice cream. What a guy! When I got home from the zoo in San Diego, I took my shoe off and it had a note in the bottom of it-funny missed that one before. He is also the best at cheering anyone up. Ava was down about something the other day and Josh pretended he was showing her a new karate weapon-the chinese woop up on you or something and started swinging Ava's karate belt around her making karate noises--she instantly lit up--too bad he whopped her in the face with the chinese woop up on accident, leaving a red streak on the side of her face. She didn't seem to mind at all. She still had a big smile on her face when I told her to be sure to tell her teacher tomorrow if the mark was still there the next day, please tell your teacher, "yes, my dad hit me, but no, it wasn't like that--just demonstrating the chinese woop up weapon and got carried away." He is such a charmer--but so loving in so many ways--in not only his words but his actions as well. I love you, Josh, and I am so thankful you are my best friend and husband.
Things to celebrate--my sister in law and brother in law adopted a baby boy (gabe) from the states--he is beautiful and they made it home in time for the party!! He is such a lucky boy-he has some of the best people as parents (funny, love the lord, etc...)--his parents adore him and I'm in love as well. My family is just as lucky to have all of them, too.
I have been a little panicked the last month or so because Vasa had lost a pound. Josh and I went on a wild frenzy where most things revolved around how many calories (healthy ones) we could get him to consume. I am pleased to say that he gained 3 pounds at his last doctor's appointment. They were able to finally put him on a pill for his latent tb since his weight was up--it was much easier to crush and put in a spoonful of pudding than getting him to choke down the 3 teaspoons of syrup that he didn't like. We think we have only 5 more months on the medication Yahoo!!
Vasa had preschool, part 2 again last week. Started off the week by continuing to walk out of the classroom or into the bathroom whenever he pleased. After a few days, I am proud to say that today the only problem they had is that he didn't want to line up after playground time. One threat of calling his mother and he lined up!! I am still grinning ear to ear. He is just going a few mornings a week, so it gives him some time to make friends and learn some things, yet we still get our time together. Loving the fact that he wants me to hold him often, gives me kisses, asked me to hold his hand, etc.. Think those are good signs of attachment.
Wednesday, Vasa will have surgery on his eye. He has an eye that turns out-strabismus-doesn't happen all of the time but enough that they said it needs to be fixed surgically. He also has something called double elevator palsy--love the name. It basically means one of his eyes won't look up. Feel like the bad mom that the doctor had to point it out to me before I noticed. Sigh. This they won't fix, though. They said it shouldn't affect his vision and will be less noticeable the taller he gets. Hoping all goes as planned and praying that he won't need another surgery any time soon. Feeling so sorry for him that he will be poked and prodded again. But, it will be nice to have both eyes looking at me and not having to think about which eye I should be focused on. I'm thankful it will be fixed before he begins to get teased for it or his vision becomes affected.
We are struggling with a few things, but are common things, I think, for some preschoolers. I have two children who can get "the look" from us and they straighten up right away. I now have two children (including Vasa) that don't get or don't care about the look. They are a little more difficult at times to parent and require you to be on your game--that parenting game. I have to say, though, that I am so thankful to have been actively parenting a child like this before Vasa came. This type of child can be so funny and keep things interesting at all times, but you have to be creative and on top of things--sometimes even foreseeing challenges before they happen. Example--a full bottle of shampoo for these children may scream, wow! I could make a bunch of bubbles if I dumped this entire bottle in the water! It doesn't automatically click to use just a little because mom will hit the roof if the whole bottle is empty when she enters the bathroom. They see the fun involved the the bubbles as trumping the getting in trouble part, I think. Being a rule follower myself (on most rules that I deem important), it makes no sense to me that this wouldn't occur to everyone. Yet, it doesn't. My absolute favorite book that I need to read again is a book called, I believe, You Can't Make Me! It is a wonderful book that gives such practical, useful information--useable information when you are feeling like your children are outsmarting you. It makes you feel like the parent again and less like "herding cats." Vasa still has the I don't want tos--he is still learning the drill where even if you don't want to, you have to b/c mommy and daddy said. It is sweet, though, to hear him say, Mommy helps me. Daddy keeps me safe, Mommy and Daddy take care of me... M and D love me. Kind of reassurance for him that these are good things and, yes, that it is ok to love and trust us.
Other thing that I still see is a struggle is that the boy still has something I had read about common with adoptive kids. He has a gas petal but doesn't seem to have a brake petal when he gets tired. He gets "the crazies" when he is tired, having little self control. You have to remove him or pick him up/keep him still and almost let him regroup. Each month, it seems less frequent. Funny thing--he hates naptime and often refuses to get still. Mean mommy makes him get still before he is allowed to get out of the bed--just 5 minutes and you can get up. Enough time to rest and regroup--even just for a few short minutes. The funny part is within seconds of getting still he falls asleep. Probably another reason that he refuses to get still. He knows he will fall asleep and as he says, "I don't want to" don't is pronounced dow-n and won't-woan't. Sweet thing. His English is sounding so southern that it is probably a bad reflection on us.
Have to brag on my husband a bit before I wrap it up. I have the world's greatest husband. I went to San Diego with my mom and sister over the weekend and he held the fort down wonderfully. First off, he told me to spend money on myself--not many husbands that say that. He helped pack my suitcase, slipping in some notes that I found while unpacking--such sweet notes like I miss you already and such. He said the weekend went well--no calls from him with a stressful tone. He didn't feel the need to clean up my "mess" while I was gone--he didn't even put up the folded clothes on my dining room table--such a feat for him, b/c he doesn't like clutters and messes--cute thing walks in some days and starts putting stuff away--forgetting to say hello (well, maybe not quite that bad). He allowed himself to enjoy the kids and just take care of them. When I got home, all of the kids handed me flowers at the airport. Came home and he had baked a cake and made home made ice cream. What a guy! When I got home from the zoo in San Diego, I took my shoe off and it had a note in the bottom of it-funny missed that one before. He is also the best at cheering anyone up. Ava was down about something the other day and Josh pretended he was showing her a new karate weapon-the chinese woop up on you or something and started swinging Ava's karate belt around her making karate noises--she instantly lit up--too bad he whopped her in the face with the chinese woop up on accident, leaving a red streak on the side of her face. She didn't seem to mind at all. She still had a big smile on her face when I told her to be sure to tell her teacher tomorrow if the mark was still there the next day, please tell your teacher, "yes, my dad hit me, but no, it wasn't like that--just demonstrating the chinese woop up weapon and got carried away." He is such a charmer--but so loving in so many ways--in not only his words but his actions as well. I love you, Josh, and I am so thankful you are my best friend and husband.
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