My battery is going to die soon on the computer, but I had a few minutes to myself and wanted to make a quick post. Vasa is doing great! I can't believe how much he is talking. Each day, he surprises me with a new phrase. Yesterday, for example, my mom walked off at stein mart and he said, "Gigi, come back!" Other times, I shake my head with a little frustration--he is not the best listener. I still struggle with him not paying attention--thinking he would learn so much more if he would tune in a little. Yesterday, somebody asked him if he had any dogs and he said no--then when asked what their names were, he said Joshua Vasa. Uggh! Listen, I wanted to shake him--you know this. Yes, you have 2 dogs that you love, and yes, you know their names--you talk about them constantly.
He is still home with me--trying to practice things he needs to know for school--tell me when you need to go potty, ask me when you want to go outside, when we are doing something-don't just walk off when you get disinterested. He is going to my gym once a week and the library, so I feel like that is helping him practice listening, sitting still, and following instructions. Also a blessing--I was a little discouraged when we went to have him evaluated for speech--actually pleased with how he did, but kicking myself for feeling like I had him tested too early. I felt like it wasn't a fair evaluation b/c of the 2nd language thing--comparing him to someone whose 1st language is english. Also, a little discouraged when they told me that insurance would not cover it and it would be 90 dollars a week. Wasn't sure he really needed it, so I said no, we'll wait. I kept second guessing myself--maybe I'm not doing enough--but got a call back a few weeks later that our insurance would cover most of it. Great!! We went for our first appointment this week. I was pleased that he did well, but continued to feel like I went into the wrong profession--30 minute session where they played with toys and got him to talk about them--90 bucks a pop--I should have done that--any child could probably be tolerated for 30 minutes :).
He continues to have new experiences each day--love seeing the joy on his face. Today, he got to ride on a toy train at my gym--he thought it was the best!! Can't wait to see his face at halloween when people just give him candy for opening his bag. He's going to love that. One last thing. Went to hobby lobby--showed him santa and the christmas trees. Not sure if he knows who santa is and why he is a big deal. His response was, "oh barney?" ooh is where for him--sweet thing--maybe we can say barney brought his toys this year. Still doesn't watch more that 5 minutes of a show before he is finished--mean mommy makes him sit there, though for one show on occasion.
Favorite word--ah uh--went from ni kasul to no to ah uh. Trying to get him to understand you don't say no to mommy and daddy. He likes to be in charge.
He is still home with me--trying to practice things he needs to know for school--tell me when you need to go potty, ask me when you want to go outside, when we are doing something-don't just walk off when you get disinterested. He is going to my gym once a week and the library, so I feel like that is helping him practice listening, sitting still, and following instructions. Also a blessing--I was a little discouraged when we went to have him evaluated for speech--actually pleased with how he did, but kicking myself for feeling like I had him tested too early. I felt like it wasn't a fair evaluation b/c of the 2nd language thing--comparing him to someone whose 1st language is english. Also, a little discouraged when they told me that insurance would not cover it and it would be 90 dollars a week. Wasn't sure he really needed it, so I said no, we'll wait. I kept second guessing myself--maybe I'm not doing enough--but got a call back a few weeks later that our insurance would cover most of it. Great!! We went for our first appointment this week. I was pleased that he did well, but continued to feel like I went into the wrong profession--30 minute session where they played with toys and got him to talk about them--90 bucks a pop--I should have done that--any child could probably be tolerated for 30 minutes :).
He continues to have new experiences each day--love seeing the joy on his face. Today, he got to ride on a toy train at my gym--he thought it was the best!! Can't wait to see his face at halloween when people just give him candy for opening his bag. He's going to love that. One last thing. Went to hobby lobby--showed him santa and the christmas trees. Not sure if he knows who santa is and why he is a big deal. His response was, "oh barney?" ooh is where for him--sweet thing--maybe we can say barney brought his toys this year. Still doesn't watch more that 5 minutes of a show before he is finished--mean mommy makes him sit there, though for one show on occasion.
Favorite word--ah uh--went from ni kasul to no to ah uh. Trying to get him to understand you don't say no to mommy and daddy. He likes to be in charge.
Good progress. I know there must be frustrating days but he sounds like he is doing great and right on track! You have lots of support out here. Thanks for the update. Thinking about you and just know you guys are going to have such a fabulous holiday season!
ReplyDeleteCongrats on the first few months! I brought my son home at 3 years old too and wanted to tell you I get the exhaustion and that I think you are being hard on yourselves! I remember back to people telling me the same so it goes with the territory :) I am no expert but for what it's worth, I'll share my experience: Adopted kids don't act their chronological age - it sounds like your boy is still figuring out things that home grown kids have the luxury of earlier on. Be gentle with yourself and him in expectations. It might help if you tried to think of what you would expect of a 2 year old: great restaurant behavior, constant potty, and social skills like asking permission might be too advanced for him on a consistent basis especially given the language barrier. The food issues can take a LONG time to taper off and are ingrained out of fear or survival. My guy took F-o-r-e-v-e-r to eat. He'd pouch food in his cheek and use every delay tactic known to man. It took probably 11 or more months before it was significantly better and now it's not an issue at all. For me, even though my guy learned English very quickly, the language barrier was a toughie. He "seemed" like he understood... but I think sometimes he just nodded because he knew that made me happy. The biggest help for me was in allowing both of us to try to make up for lost time. I held him like a baby, sang to him, rocked him and held my expectation levels to a child much younger than he was. He has blossomed and caught up in the 16 months he's been home. It's hard I know it was super challenging for me and I know I was harder on my son than I should have been with my expectations. I wish I had been softer and more gentle in meeting him where he was at and not demanding that he come to where I expected him to be (in development and social skills). That makes me sound terrible and I don't think I was most of the time but I could have done better - much better. If sharing my reflections might help someone else who is where we were then maybe that helps make up for my short comings. Good luck with your family - he's going to do great things - he's got great parents to learn from!
ReplyDeleteStacey