may 10

Did get a call back from our agency--no court date will be given to us before the judge's holidays.  They come back on May 10, so maybe, just maybe, we'll hear something that week.  Not discouraged--it looks like we'll be here for end of the year awards, prek graduation, and maybe our family disney trip.  Those are things to look forward to--and will help keep our minds off of the wait.

The girls (and Josh, of course) always have a way of cheering me up.   I loved hearing about Allie winning the pop jam dance contest at school during music--the boom boom black eyed pea song.  Not what you'd expect at a Christian School, but maybe that's one reason they love it so much.   It's not too uptight about things. After school, the two younger girls danced in their rooms to the gaither vocal band, justin beiber, and kings of leon-quite a combination.  At dinner, DD was so pumped that we were going to IHOP.  Pancakes are DD's favorite food and Ava hates pancakes.  She was spending the night off, so we decided to go there.  Addison was giddy when they brought her pancake plate.  We also had a taste test contest on all of the IHOP syrups that they offer.  Little sweet ways to keep our minds off of our wait to get sweet Vasa.  

no answers yet

OK-still no answers on a court date.  I e-mailed our agency on Monday to check to see if they had received a court date for me and we had not heard back.  I called today (just hoping, maybe, just maybe, I was next on their to do list to call) and our agency rep has pnemonia (not spelled right) and the one helping her out while she's gone is out sick.  Part of me wanted to cry and part of me wanted to laugh--I've only called a handful of times and each time, I catch her on a day that she is sick or out of town.  It's not Murphy's Law now, it's Claire's law.  I talked to a friend after that, and probably sensing my insensitivity at the time said, "Claire, that's serious.  She could die."  My insensitive remark back was, "I hope that I get my court date worked out first."  I may be struck down by lightening today.  Especially since I had decided to fast and pray and I caught myself eating chocolate kisses out of an Easter basket after like the fourth kiss.  Maybe tomorrow...  If not tomorrow, b/c of holidays, it will likely be another 3-4 weeks before court.  It's been busy here, so I'm not totally obsessing about it, but my heart aches for another month of time away from him.  I wonder if he has forgotten about us.  Or, maybe he's decided that we are funny looking or something..

We think May

We got a little bit of news today.  Our final paperwork for our court date is now in Kaluga and they will be taking it to the judge on Monday.  CSS said the judge likes to thoroughly review it before she assigns a court date.  They are hopeful, but not sure that she will assign us a court date before she leaves for their holidays.  So, we think we are looking at the earliest after May 11 (if she works that week).  They have holidays the first two weeks of May and the last week of April, I guess, is also Easter.  I don't know if the Russian Orthodox calendar is any different for that.

 Little down about that.  We are now missing at least another month of V's life.  Here, May is a very busy month for our family.  The girls have awards banquets and parties for the last week of school, preschool graduation, and new teacher assignments.  We also are taking the semi-annual big family trip to disney world the week after that.  My baby turns 5-which she has been excited about for months-the end of May.  So I have a torn heart.  I long to go as early as possible to get V-wish it were April.  April is also the easy month and the closer month!  I am already sad about missing out on some of the big events the girls have in May.  I'm not sad enough, though,  to want to wait until June to get V-that would be torture.

Yet, I believe in God's big picture plan in all of this--Josh explains this as the amazing race. Never in our wildest dreams did we really think we would be in the middle of all of this.  It's hard at times, but what a fun and exciting ride!  I'm trying to enjoy the experience.  I think the Lord is teaching me a lot--I have never been known for my patience in times that are out of my control.  Probably an area that needs work in my life.  Even dd told me today I needed to be more patient about things.  What we can learn from a four year old.  Please pray for the judge to find favor in our information, that it is complete, and he/she sees us as one big happy family that is not complete without our Vasa.  Pray for protection of Vasa's body and heart.  Pray for the camcorder to not malfunction and to capture all of the girls' memories while we're gone.  

Trying to stay busy

CSS said to expect to go back mid-May because of Russian holidays.  A little discouraging, but when I look at the calendar, 5 weeks or so doesn't seem too far away.  I've been fretting a little bit about the government shut down thing.  We think we are going to go ahead and apply for a visa, just in case this happens.  We also are concerned about one of our original forms (FBI) not having an apostille.  We have the copy apostilled, but we are still confused about whether or not the original needs to be done.  We may get a runner in DC to have it done for us in DC just in case we have the government shutdown issue there, too.
      Our CSS worker has been sick or out of town each time I've called lately, so that has been stressful.  She has every right to take vacation and be sick, but it's nice to have someone there to hold my hand a little during high stress moments and I can't get her on the phone.  My best way to relate it--kind of like when you're pregnant and your doctor is out of town and you have an issue or on your due date he is at the beach.  They have every right to do that, but it still stinks.  Now when the baby comes, the janitor could deliver it for all you care, but leading up to it, you want to pretend that your doctor will be there at that moment.  I'm sure when I'm finally in Russia for the pick up trip, I won't care who lets me out of the country with him, just let me out safely (and legally).  But the wait and anticipation is stressful for biological or adoptive kids.  Josh made a good point yesterday.  He said-remember when you were pregnant and everybody said -enjoy your time together while you have it-go to the movies, enjoy this and that... because when the baby comes it is chaotic for a while--he said we should be enjoying the last few weeks of non-chaos with three kids instead of four.  When you're at the end of a pregnancy, though, all you can think about is having that baby out and moving on with life to come.  Same thing here.  I just want to have him here and move on with life to come.  Trying to enjoy it right now, though.  We are at my parent's river place with my sister's family.  I'm enjoying having a few moments to myself and it is quiet!  When V gets here, I may be a nervous wreck at the river.  He may not have a healthy fear of the water yet, and certainly doesn't know how to swim!  He may be wearing a life vest at all times for the first few months at the river (maybe he can take it off to sleep--but then what if he walks outside at night?!)
  

waiting, waiting, and more waiting

Here we wait.  This is maybe the hardest part of it all.  We've been back from our first trip for four weeks now, and I'm so ready to head over for the court date.  We have received our immigration approval and our fbi background check.  The fbi background check (mine) had to be sent back because of a missing seal, so I'm hoping it won't delay the court date.  I sent in all of the needed paperwork, but because of employee sickness on the placement agency's end and some paperwork on their end they were waiting for, the paperwork didn't get sent to Russia until today.  I feel like we are kind of racing the clock, because Russia usually takes holidays the first 10 days or so of May.  I still don't totally understand the process of how we get a court date, so we just have had to accept the fact it is all out of our hands.  Josh continues to assure me that God has his own perfect time table for us.  But I want God to see my time table as the right one right now :).  Trying to feed my energy and mind into things like decorating his room, organizing our pictures from the first trip, and day to day things here.  Like getting off of the blog to break up a just dance wii fight going on in the other room.